Austin Z. Henley

I work on AI + developer tools.

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Satirical ways to measure academics


Painting of a classic weighing balance.

Academia involves a lot of bean counting. Typical ways to measure professors include grant funding, published papers, impact factor, conference rankings, citations, i10-index, h-index, students graduated, course evaluations, invited talks, committees, and so forth.

I propose a few alternatives that might even be more useful:

Candy bar index

Jurisprudential metric

Good number

Ramble rating

Dean factor

Innovation adoption score (IAS)

X differential